Seeing isn’t knowing
Knowing doesn’t lead to action
It’s a constant array of debris
Jagged rocks, and broken bones
Not enough to satisfy an end
Not enough to take it all away
And there’s the light
At times so bright
A burn is on the horizon
But to look away is to give up.
From the dark, the light is a drug
Light in the dark places
Just makes shadows
Dark corners to hide
Secrets
To step into the bright spaces
You need more than light
You need to leave the darkness
It’s human nature it seems
To never have enough
To be healthy, sufficient, and live in abundance
Have shelter, food and a shower
But there are those with more
Who, coincidently, want more
And as such we will never be happy
I, for one, am striving for contentment
Not to end ‘want’ but to be happy with ‘have’
I will fail, sadly
All but for these ephemeral steps of time
The Elephant
in my head
Is heavy
My skull
is beginning to crack
Get off,
get off,
fuck off
My feet are webbed
Moving up my legs
I want to get lost
Tho they don’t move
They’re stuck to you
The spider is come,
takes me away
take me away
the stench is thick
I welcome it in
drown in me
It’s atmosphere
Is heavy
It’s empty in here,
empty in here,
I’m empty
In the cold & rain
I’ll walk away
I wont run
I see my goal
But I won’t go
It’s time for alone,
I’ll go alone,
this time
Do you ever have those days?
The ones where you don’t hate your job, but you just can’t be there today?
Ever feel that way about your life?
I don’t hate my life. But I could sure use a holiday from it.
I’m having one of those days where, were I financially able, I would disappear.
Leave behind all the crap & bull shit. I’d leave behind all that is meaningful & good too.
Today I’d trade it all.
The funny thing about days like these is nothing ever seems to set them off.
There’s no fight, or stupidity to piss you off. There’s just nothing… the same old.
Time to fuckin spice it up!
This is my glass is half full post. After yestardays slightly stoned and ridiculously depressing post, a little sunshine may be in order. My transition into positivity is helped along by Dan Mangan:
“Ive gotta shout, the time,
Can’t think of a single day
That I’m wasting away, wasted my time
Wishing the world, would fuck off
At least then I could be bitter
And now I’m just, fabulous
You are, fabulous
We’re so fucking, fabulous
We don’t even know it”
So good. He makes me wanna write.
That’s all for now….. I’m at work.
Wake up.
The haze brings a kind off clarity.
A focus on true reality.
Move from the bed,
The grip slowly loosens.
The haze clears.
Back to life.
It’s self preservation at it’s worst
Only giving out just enough of yourself to hint at connection
Giving into fear, pain
All in an attempt to avoid pain & fear
Never giving all
Always alone
It’s a search for happiness
Even contentment would suffice
Nothing is ever what is sought
an ongoing struggle against yourself.
You have what others seek
You seek what others have
It’s not enough for them
It won’t be enough for you
The wall never falls
It’s been up so long, you don’t know what’s inside
To chip away at it is to chip away at everything you know
Instead you muse, philosophy
Relate to music, poetry, lyric more than anyone, anything
You stop writing
blaming a creative slump
In truth, it’s a fear of self discovery
You touch at it
Hint at growth & awareness
Until it gets too real
That which you honestly seek, will never be until you let go
the rain starts off and it wakes you up
you can’t sleep with that racket on the roof
you get up slow but you can’t get going
it seems this morning the lowness has won
did you stop to see? mediocrity and your self pity,
they were stealing a kiss, look at their lips, still shiny
did you notice that happiness
happens less the more often you stop to find where it’s been hiding
you say, “it’s not my fault that i get so low
there’s a weight on my soul that just keeps pulling me down,
it’s pulling me down, i swear it”
so come on by my house and unleash me your monsters
with you at the helm we’ll go crashing around together
don’t mistake some initial hate for something more that cautionary
cause baby this is love, i’ll come down to hell to keep you company
of all the days we’ve got we should be screaming out…
of all the days we’ve got we should be singing…
what’s to be done? one hundred and one
in a tent for twelve with fingers and elbows
in innocent ribs, we’re minding our business
we’re just minding our business instead of minding our minds
in times when the storms could ravage your clothes,
the sound and the color could render you blind
and the throes of a nightmare can sing you to sleep
then some foreign machine wakes you up at a mean hour
but heaven is there, under your hair,
it hides in the noon noise way up in the air
like a bird on the breeze
waiting for you and maybe me too
whats there to do? one hundred and two
are out on the doorstep and they’re pushing the bolts back
they’re wanting in, they’re humming our hymn
everybodys singing like beautiful birds…
everybodys singing like beautiful birds…
everybodys singing like beautiful birds…
in the trees, listen to it, it’s easy man, you can do it too
sing: i know what i want
i know what i need
cause it’s the simplest thing
of all the nights we’ve got we should be stepping out…
of all the nights we touch we should be swinging around from house to house
if i could cheer you up it would mean so much,
clowns in love and laughing it off, laughing it off, laughing it off
you say, “its not my fault that i get so low
but to drown you too, that’s a sick way to love, it’s a sick way to love,
it’s a fucking sick way to love”
I wasn’t planning n posting anything else today. I’ve been up since 830 and haven’t said one word yet… 
I like that. I’ve been editing post yet unposted, and chillin, listening to some good tunes. When I heard this…….Why does Colin Hay always speak to me….. I don’t know what it means, I can’t peg my perspectives view of the song. All I know is, if I wrote gooder I could have written it myself.
You have such heart, you’re the precious one
And you will have your day
I know there is no justice now
There’s nothing left to say
If you don’t believe in the setting sun
If you’ve lost your faith in the holy one
If you’re feeling like you need a friend
You can hold on
Yes you can hold on
Hold on to my hand
Don’t let go
If you’re with the one you care for
And you wake up in the middle of the night
If she’s the one you hold a prayer for
You keep the candle bright
If her body’s weak, but her heart is strong
If you feel the heat, as the day is long
If you’re just a boy, trying to be a man
You can hold on
Yes you can hold on
Hold on to her hand
She will understand
I have no explanation
Why this train it just rolls along
Why it pulls into this particular station
And stays just a little too long
If I miss the train, as it pulls away
Cos’ I drank too much, and slept into the day
If I run alongside, and reach out my arm
Will you hold on, yes will you hold on
Yes will you hold on
Hold on to my hand
Hold on to my hand
Hold on to my hand
If you don’t believe in the holy one
If you’ve lost your faith in the setting sun
If you’re feeling like you need a friend
You can hold on
Yes you can hold on
Hold on to my hand
Yeah
I was all prepared to post an “I give up”. But a brief moment with my guitar tonight and new hope is found. I was stuck for a while basically just acoustifying the song and calling it different.
New direction today. My biggest issue now is melody….I am not a lyric/melody person. I do music and that’s almost there.
I’ll post when it’s done (or close) I don’t as yet know what I’ll do about vocals……
Yeah musical inspiration!
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