Aargh! The title is the only thing I like of the 4 posts I’ve TRIED to write today. So instead, here’s a lazy venting, complaining journal post.
The last while, I’ve had a hard time getting it down. I’m too aware of what I want to say, what I’m trying to work out.
I’ve written a lot of music instead. I won’t ever complain about that. I just wish either one was something I could simply use as an outlet. Instead, they are frequently a source of frustration. Like all I need to do is bust down some wall (not even metaphorically, sometimes, like today, it feels like it’s all behind a physical wall in my chest) and it will all come flowing out. Words, music, release.
I’ve tried to talk it out. But where? Who? I know I can… but I can’t. It needs to be something else, and it feels like it will never come.
Maybe when I’m no longer content with discontent.
