Seeing isn’t knowing
Knowing doesn’t lead to action
It’s a constant array of debris
Jagged rocks, and broken bones
Not enough to satisfy an end
Not enough to take it all away
And there’s the light
At times so bright
A burn is on the horizon
But to look away is to give up.
From the dark, the light is a drug
Light in the dark places
Just makes shadows
Dark corners to hide
Secrets
To step into the bright spaces
You need more than light
You need to leave the darkness
It’s human nature it seems
To never have enough
To be healthy, sufficient, and live in abundance
Have shelter, food and a shower
But there are those with more
Who, coincidently, want more
And as such we will never be happy
I, for one, am striving for contentment
Not to end ‘want’ but to be happy with ‘have’
I will fail, sadly
All but for these ephemeral steps of time
The Elephant
in my head
Is heavy
My skull
is beginning to crack
Get off,
get off,
fuck off
My feet are webbed
Moving up my legs
I want to get lost
Tho they don’t move
They’re stuck to you
The spider is come,
takes me away
take me away
the stench is thick
I welcome it in
drown in me
It’s atmosphere
Is heavy
It’s empty in here,
empty in here,
I’m empty
In the cold & rain
I’ll walk away
I wont run
I see my goal
But I won’t go
It’s time for alone,
I’ll go alone,
this time
Aargh! The title is the only thing I like of the 4 posts I’ve TRIED to write today. So instead, here’s a lazy venting, complaining journal post.
The last while, I’ve had a hard time getting it down. I’m too aware of what I want to say, what I’m trying to work out.
I’ve written a lot of music instead. I won’t ever complain about that. I just wish either one was something I could simply use as an outlet. Instead, they are frequently a source of frustration. Like all I need to do is bust down some wall (not even metaphorically, sometimes, like today, it feels like it’s all behind a physical wall in my chest) and it will all come flowing out. Words, music, release.
I’ve tried to talk it out. But where? Who? I know I can… but I can’t. It needs to be something else, and it feels like it will never come.
Maybe when I’m no longer content with discontent.
Do you ever have those days?
The ones where you don’t hate your job, but you just can’t be there today?
Ever feel that way about your life?
I don’t hate my life. But I could sure use a holiday from it.
I’m having one of those days where, were I financially able, I would disappear.
Leave behind all the crap & bull shit. I’d leave behind all that is meaningful & good too.
Today I’d trade it all.
The funny thing about days like these is nothing ever seems to set them off.
There’s no fight, or stupidity to piss you off. There’s just nothing… the same old.
Time to fuckin spice it up!
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